Is Self-Esteem Changeable? What Life Events (and Ayurveda) Can Teach Us About Who We Become

Self-worth isn’t fixed. It evolves through experience, meaning, and alignment with your inner nature.

By Usha Nagavarapu, PhD, AD

Self-esteem, how we see and value ourselves is not set in stone.

While modern psychology shows that self-esteem is not fixed but evolves with time and experience, Ayurveda offers a complementary perspective: our sense of worth is also shaped by our prakriti (constitution), sattva (mental clarity), and how harmoniously we live with our inner nature. A 2022 study by Anne Kristin Reitz and colleagues, published in Social and Personality Psychology Compass, presents a compelling framework, self-esteem changes not just through life events, but when those events meaningfully impact how we feel and who we believe ourselves to be. Strikingly, this aligns with ancient Ayurvedic insights, which hold that experiences influence ojas, tejas, and soma, the subtle energies of vitality, discernment, and emotional nourishment. 

Both modern psychology and Ayurveda converge on a timeless truth: You are not defined by what happens to you, but by how you meet it.

What Modern Psychology Says

Reitz’s TESSERA model (2022) presents self-esteem as a responsive, fluid process. It shifts when emotionally meaningful experiences are repeated and internalized.
TESSERA stands for:
•    Triggering events
•    Emotional reactions
•    Self-esteem change
•    Repetition
•    Assimilation into identity
The same event such as a breakup, a promotion, a health scare can affect two people differently depending on how it lands emotionally and whether it reshapes their personal narrative.

When Do Life Events Actually Change Us?
According to Reitz, life events reshape self-esteem when they impact our core needs:
•    Agency: our sense of capability and power
•    Communion: our sense of belonging and love
Some common incidents can be a promotion which might reinforce agency and boost self-esteem or a betrayal which might harm communion and reduce self-worth. But these outcomes depend heavily on interpretation. One person may see failure as proof of inadequacy, while another sees it as a stepping stone.

Ayurveda’s Take: Inner Balance and Emotional Digestion
Ayurveda sees every experience as filtered through your prakriti, your inherent constitution and vikriti, your current imbalance.
•    Vata types are more prone to anxiety and self-doubt when life feels unpredictable.
•    Pitta types often equate self-worth with success and control.
•    Kapha types may feel secure on the surface but hold on to emotional wounds deeply and quietly.
When events disturb your subtle energies: ojas (vitality), tejas (clarity), and soma (emotional nectar), your perception of self becomes clouded. When they nourish sattva, the light of clarity and balance, you experience emotional resilience. Ayurveda also reminds us that emotions must be digested like food. If they remain unprocessed, they become samskaras or emotional impressions that can distort identity over time.

Clinical Proof: Ayurveda Outperforms Medication in Depression Trial
A 2024 randomized controlled trial led by Punia et al., published in Journal of Ayurveda and Integrative Medicine, compared a Whole System Ayurveda Protocol (WSAP) to escitalopram (an antidepressant) in 50 adults with major depressive disorder (MDD).

Study Design
•    Participants: 50 individuals (ages 20–70) meeting DSM-V criteria for MDD
•    Duration: 60 days
•    Groups:
o    WSAP Group: Received personalized, whole-system Ayurvedic treatment
o    Control Group: Received Escitalopram 10 mg twice daily
•    Assessment Tools:
Hamilton Depression Rating Scale (HDRS), Hamilton Anxiety Rating Scale (HARS), Pittsburgh Sleep Quality Index (PSQI), WHO Quality of Life-BREF (WHOQOL-BREF), UKU Side Effect Scale, and others
•    Monitoring Frequency: Every 15 days

Key Findings

Results after 60 days, the Ayurveda group outperformed the control group in the following areas:

Measure	Ayurveda (WSAP)	Escitalopram	Between-Group Difference
Depression (HDRS)	↓ Significantly	↓	Ayurveda superior (p = 0.01)
Anxiety (HARS)	↓ Significantly	↓	Ayurveda superior (p = 0.03)
Sleep Quality (PSQI)	↑ Improved	↑	Ayurveda superior (p = 0.03)
Life Satisfaction (WHOQOL-BREF)	↑ Significantly	No change	Ayurveda only improved (p < 0.001)
Side Effects	Minimal	Mild-to-moderate	Ayurveda safer (p = 0.02)

 

Results: Participants in the Ayurveda group were the only one to show improvement in overall life satisfaction and with no reported side effects. They had more energy, better sleep and greater life satisfaction. The Whole System Ayurveda Protocol (WSAP) is not just about reducing symptoms. It targets the root imbalances, supports emotional digestion, and nurtures resilience and clarity through herbs, diet, lifestyle, and mind-body practices. This study affirms what Ayurveda has long known: Healing is not just symptom relief—it’s re-alignment with self, spirit, and nature.This tells us something powerful: healing that honors mind, body, and consciousness creates lasting shifts in how people perceive themselves.

Narrative Identity: The Stories We Tell Ourselves
Modern psychology talks about narrative identity. Ayurveda talks about ahamkara, the ego-mind that identifies and says, “This is who I am.” Self-esteem transforms not simply because life changes, but because we rewrite the story of what that change meant.
For example:
“I failed” →
“I’m a failure” (if tamas/dullness is dominant)
or
“I’m learning” (if sattva is present)

When ojas is strong and sattva is clear, we can process emotions and extract wisdom. When we’re depleted, the same event can become a wound we replay. In Ayurveda, reflection, ritual, and inquiry help us digest experience and re-align identity.

Is Self-Esteem Changeable?

Psychology says:
•    Self-esteem is shaped by emotionally meaningful experiences
•    Identity integration is key to lasting change
Ayurveda says:
•    Self-worth is a function of your constitution, clarity, and alignment with purpose
•    Healing practices help process experience and reinforce true identity
Together, they offer this unified message:
You are not your past.
You are the meaning you make from it.
And that meaning can evolve.

Final Thoughts

Whether we approach healing through the lens of science or the language of the soul, one truth holds:
You are not your circumstances. You are how you carry them.
To nourish healthy self-esteem:
•    Cultivate sattva: through quiet, nature, breath, truthfulness
•    Digest emotional experiences: as you would food: completely and gently
•    Align with your nature: choose rituals, routines, and relationships that support your balance
•    Re-author your story: you are allowed to grow

Reflect With Me

Which life event most shaped how you see yourself and how did you make peace with it?
Please leave a comment, love to hear your story.

References

•    Reitz, A. K. (2022). Self-esteem development and life events: A review and integrative process framework. Social and Personality Psychology Compass. DOI
•    Punia A, Chate S, Tubaki BR, Himaja N. Efficacy of whole system ayurveda management protocol in major depressive disorder- A randomized controlled clinical trial. J Ayurveda Integr Med. 2024 Mar-Apr;15(2):100896. doi: 10.1016/j.jaim.2024.100896. Epub 2024 Apr 11. PMID: 38608512; PMCID: PMC11016906.
•    Charaka Samhita, Sushruta Samhita, Ashtanga Hridaya – sections on sattva, ojas, vikriti, and ahamkara